I have seen the future

and it is Makers by Cory Doctorow. Download your free copy today, steampunks. There will be a test on this material.

Limited Edition Gallery

Since my lovely welcome in Caledon I've been moving progressively farther from JUST reporting the news. I'll still be doing that, of course, but it will probably mostly go to the Naughty News blog.

In the meantime, thanks to the help of several friends, I've manged to get my first few gallery works up. Stop by Steam Sonnet and see the limited edition Luxuria Mystic runs. There are three on display at the moment. I expect to have a fourth named "Lilith" up just as soon as I sell one to pay for uploads.

For a bit more detail, I'll just quote the notecard given out in the store:

About Luxuria Mystic Limited Editions

Every work you see here with a number is an original and for sale. Each piece has a limited run of 10 prints. Each print is signed (or kissed) and numbered. Unnumbered works have already sold out, but they are kept on display with their information where possible.

All works for sale are no mod to prevent accidental damage but Zenmondo Worsmer has kindly provided a size changing script so that you can fit the work to whatever size you need. All works are transferrable. When you buy one, you are buying the original, not the contents or a copy, so you will also need to Take it after your purchase.

On the back of each work is a credits page. Most of the work is mine alone, but some pieces do involve public domain portraits of historical figures or, in the case of Lovelace Athena, Lord Byron's poetry. Where possible, the original artists recieve proper credit.

The bottom of the credits contains the date and time of the work's creation. This is an anti-copying device. You can compare the date and time on the credits to the prim that your artwork is on. If they match and the creator is Magdalena Outlander then you can be confident that your limited edition print is genuine. If you should happen to find a print without this information, or where the prim does not match the credits, you are looking at a counterfeit. Please inform me immediately.

All prints on sale at the gallery start with number 3 of 10. Number 2 is always given as a gift to a particularly inspiring Caledonian. Number 1 is reserved and will be auctioned off either for charity or once all eight of the prints for sale have sold. The inofrmation card on each print will tell you who received print number 2, a landmark to its current location (if known). The same information is provided for the number 1 print if it has sold.

There's a lot more to a limited edition than just uploading a texture. Each one has to be created from a plywood box to produce a different creation time. There is no shift-copy used in these works. Each individual piece requires two custom textures to be uploaded. One for the numbered artwork itself and the other for the credits that denotes both the number and creation time.

In other news, Takashi someone won mayor of Hard Alley. Thanks to everyone who braved the bad air and worse RP to vote for me.

Elcetion is Underway!

Just about two hours left. Remember to vote Magdalena Outlander. And here's. . .not an outtake per se but a photo I've always been fond of. A little big bad wolf action, even if he is a fox.

Also, all you plurkers who are reading can now find me here.

Satudray, Saturday, Saturday!

Its the election for mayor of Hard Alley! Get out and rock that vote for your favorite junior Naughty Reporter. If I win I'll post exclusive coverage from he Mayor's office right here!

Thoughts on the Steampunk ethic

An odd series of conversations occurred at the Blue Mermaid tonight. Somehow we got to talking about morals, ethics, the growth of communities and Steampunk as asthetic vs Second Lifestyle vs real lifestyle. I didn't have tine to stay for as much of it as I wanted to, but I thought a few things were left unsaid. I'd like to add them here, away from the confusion of multiple conversation threads going by as fast as everyone can type.

Let's start with exactly what Steampunk is. I think the best description I heard was "love the machine, hate the factory". As a society, the Internet has taken us past the knee-jerk distrust of technology from the Cyberpunk age.

Cyberpunk fiction often presented technology as a necessary evil, something you had to compromise your soul for but couldn't get by without. Steampunk recognizes the utility of technology. Whhere it differs from mainstream culture is in the idea of a return to individual craftsmanship. This is a perfect match for Second Life, of course. Things like wholesalers and design by committee are only now in their infancy in SL. By far the vast majority of things in this virtual world were painstaking crafted by a single individual. In the real world this tends to express itself in the famous computers, guitars, clothing and other objects modified by Steampunk designers. You simply can't buy Steampunk in the store. The very definition of the aesthetic says that if its mass produced, its not Steampunk.

To some, real life Steampunk is nothing more than an aesthetic choice. Its playing dress-up. There's certainly a fair degree of truth in that analysis at the moment. The Steampunk ethic is, for right now anyway, primarily expressed through fashion choices and custom mods of commercial products.

This isn't necessarily a permanent situation. Already the move to solar power and eco-friendly urban engineering is beginning to decouple the average American from centralized sources. Internet shopping likewise allows for niche markets to flourish. As the consumer becomes decoupled from centralized control, the craftsman once again has room to ply her trade and reach those consumers who will appreciate (ie pay for) her work. Essentially nanotech/advanced 3-D printing decopules the labor of production from the labor of design. It becomes like the SL merchant's business model. Long hours to design one product that can be reproduced in whatever quantities are needed.

I don't think we'll be seeing Neal Stephenson's neo-Victorians from The Diamond Age until manufacturing also becomes decentralized. However, the budding Steam craftsperson can already make a decent living with their work on ebay. This just demonstrates that there is a market for high quality work done by hand in the Steampunk aesthetic. I don't know how many Steampunk designers actually make a successful living selling the crafts, but if anyone knows one of these people, I'd love to do an interview.

More next time on Steampunk philosophy and ethics, the ideas behind the aesthetic. Reccomended reading - The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson.

Notes and an outtake

Not much going on. Just studying up for the Triathlon portion of the Caledon Games and working on my campaign for WORLD DOMINATION. . .I mean. . .er. . .mayor of Hard Alley. So to keep my faithful readers entertained, have a picture of my darling Io and I dancing on Valentine's Day. This one was good enough to belong in the main article but I just couldn't make it fit the story.

A couple of side notes

Loyal readers no doubt remember my campaign in Hard Alley. Well, its still going. Campaign posters are up, handouts are ready. All we need now is votes on the 20th.

Some of you may also have noticed a subtle change in my style in the last shoot. Yes, its true, I used to dye my hair in an attempt at what the MIT set calls "artificial intelligence". I finally gave up and washed it out, except for one little spot that just doesn't want to match my natural color.

Live From Caledon On Sea - The Blue Mermaid

In my personal blog, I promised a full report on my lovely Valentine's Day and I hope it was worth the wait. Reporting from Caledon On Sea with a little help from my friends, Professor Outladish presents: The Blue Mermaid.

First off I have to thank my two lovely loyal readers who assisited in this shoot.

Regan Finesmith will be the subject of the free poster given to loyal readers who also follow my in-world group (free to join, hint hint). She was chosen through a careful selection process involving asking for a volunteer and taking the first person to raise their hand. Let that be a lesson to aspiring reporters everywhere. All you have to do is seize the opportunity when it presents itself.

Io Guisse, my lovely assistant and Valentine's date just had the luck (good or bad, you be the judge) to end up losing her dress on stage with me during the Valentine's event.

 OK, so first the dry facts. The Blue Mermaid is a burlesque club in Caledon. Events are held Wednesdays at 7 and Sundays at 1. The owner, Hypatia Callisto and the DJ for the event, Icarus Ghost were both amazingly friendly. Io and I were made to feel right at home.

Its got a lovely atmosphere and is pleasantly risque by Victorian standards. Reporters and their dates can get naked on the stage, for example, without getting into trouble. I must admit this had a fair bit to do with my enjoyment of the evening. They also don't mind junior reporters taking a little impromptu champagne bath.

 

Now if you're like me, you've been to clubs all over SL. The formula tends to be very straight forward. There's a commercial area that vendors rent space in. That pays the bills for the club, which in turn generates the traffic for the vendors. Once you get there, there's a two hour themed event. Depending on the size of the club the prize for best in theme is somewhere between 250 and 1000 L. There are strippers and a DJ working for tips. Before the event, the place is empty. Two hours after the event starts, prizes are given out and everyone who works there packs up and goes home. Even when you win, you're left feeling vaguely used.

Not so the Blue Mermaid, my friends. The Valentine's Day dance was scheduled to start at 7 PM. Every time a group went home, another came in. When the DJ finally packed up to go home at midnight there were probably still a dozen people in the place. This, faithful readers, is a place that people come because they love it run by people who love it. There were plenty of dancers shedding their clothes but none were employees or doing it for the tips. I can't reccommend this place highly enough for the neo-Victorian, Steampunk, or just slightly naughty set.

The main room has several lovely features. There's a bar for dancing on. . .

 

and tables and couches to perform for a more intimate audience. . .

 

and that's just the main room. 

If your looking for other places to check out, The Blue Mermaid is part of the Caledon Adventure, as shown by the goblet next to your pleasantly distracted junior reporter.

 

Just step out front to the time machine. Flip the lever, pick a destination, have a seat and you'll be whisked away to another Caledon Adventure location of your choice. Don't do it yet, though. You'll miss the joy of the Mermaid's secluded back rooms.

The first of these isn't so much a back room as a top room. When things get crowded down below, you can head up the staris to the balcony level. Its perfect for watching the Caledonian antics, as a dance overflow area or for getting a little closer to an adoring fan.

 

From there you should be able to easily find the other back rooms, complete with a comfy couch, another lap dance chair and an absolutely lovely rug in front of the fireplace.

Unfortunately, this is the point where my lovely volunteer had to leave. It was a great shoot, though and very. . . satisfying off camera. 

Live from The Blue Mermaid in Caledon On Sea, this is Professor Outlandish, sleeping the sleep of the just.

Valentine's Day

was exhausting. I'm going back to the lovely club I spent my evening at for a full shoot, so expect to hear all about it soon. In the meantime, have a preview.

I'll say this much, the party started at 7 and was scheduled for two hours. Everyone was having so much fun that the DJ finally packed it in around midnight. Now how many clubs do you know where that's true? I'm used to everyone running the minute money is handed out for "best in".

Fencing and Dancing

Today was the main event of the Caledon Games Fencing tournament at the Caledon Oxbridge arena. Having already taken the bronze in the latebird special, I had to get up early and defend my honor. I've been playing En Garde for a while now. I won't claim to be the best, but I learn something every time I play. Last time I was making a single mistake which cost me the match. The details would be somewhat arcane to non En Garde players, but if anyone really wants to know, I'll explain it.

Jayleden Miles was on hand to oversee everything again. I can't imagine how hectic organizing us must have been. Caledonians herd about as well as cats on the best days. So thank, Jay.

In any case, with honor on the line and good cards in my hand I proceeded to poke people with my trusty Thread of Fate, provided courtesy of Got Leib? Productions. This time I wasn't going to settle on a bronze and managed to come back with the Gold!

Vorwoda Hawksby, but I figured I would get a few shots in, too, before taking my esteemed co-champions Stereo Nacht (silver) and Darlingmonster Ember (bronze) somewhere a little more. . .Mature rated for a shot for this blog.

After that, it was off for drinks at the Green Fairy. Loyal readers will be happy to know that all three of us hit it off swimmingly. You can expect to see these champions working together more in the future. Ms. Nacht has invited the rest of us to practice at Transylvania Polytechnic with her team (but more on that later). She's clearly the intellectual of the three of us but she was a surprisingly good sport when it came time for the obligatory nude shot. I expect the sepia print version will be showing up in back rooms in Caledon and new Babbage soon.

 

We've really got a sort of naked Three Muskateers thing going. This was the real victory, not the medal but two great friends I can cross swords with again.

Just about the time things were wrapping up, I got word of a Queen of Hearts masqued dance over at the Bashful Peacock, where Jay was yet again helping oversee the event. 

Deciding to ride my fifteen minutes of fame I promptly made my way over there to meet the Caledonians. One of the very first people I ren into was Ms. Nacht's boss, one KlausWulfenbach Outlander. He prompty decided I was a long lost cousin and seemed quite eager to have the three champions practicing at his place (TPU - Transylvania Polytechnic University). There was much dancing and flirting to follow, including a reuinion with old friend Ceidru Gothly of Hare Courture.

After making a bit of a spectacle of myself (all part of the fun), I was able to approach no less than the Queen of Hearts herself for a dance. There were quite a few gasps at my forwardness but she delighted me by agreeing and proved a lovely dance partner until the last song.

Live from Caledon, I'm Professor Outlandish, Gold Medal Fencer.

Side note - I would love to post url links to all of the above places and people but Blogspot really hates the SLURL format. An in-world search for capitalized terms should do just fine.

News flash - just as I was finishing up, our oil paintings arrived. Here it is.

A little academic discourse and another outtake

My friend Patrice was nice enough to point me to the Alphaville Herald a few days ago, suggesting I might want to see if I could get a gig as a Post 6 Girl. Well, I'm working on that. However, a discussion of the sexual themes that seem too be prevalent in RP sims came up in a discussion of one of the articles. I started out planning a fairly simple post but it kind of got away from me. Here, is the entire comment/essay in its entirety.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that a couple of factors contribute to the content of SL more than any other. All of this applies at the recreational level, of course. Serious business and/or academic use has both a different user base and a different economic model.

The first is wish fulfillment. I'd say at first glance that 90% of SL avatars come in as the user's definition of physically perfect. That's probably the precise inverse of real life. Sims with strong sexual content will, likewise, cater most visibly to those things you can't get in real life. Even the bike designers featured elsewhere on Alphaville Herald are providing a wish fullfillment fantasy with their virtual replicas of massively expensive motorcycles. SL is seen as a safe, anonymous place to do things you couldn't do in real life. You can be a slave, hooker etc. without any of the real world fears of abuse, STD's etc.

The second is the monetary incentive. Every sim, RP or otherwise has to generate its $300 a month just to stay open. That can come from sales in stores, rental of land, user donations or (and this is a big one) paid out of pocket by a person or group. So sims that focus on fantasy fulfillment have to cater to those fantasies that are worth actual money to people in order to generate their teir. Basic supply and demand dictates that the harder to find a given niche product is, the more a sim owner can charge for it. Similarly, more users support more sims of the same type of content at the same price. Also, the more hardcore a given interest, ie the more of one's life and identity definition it encompasses, the more willing a player will be to spend money on it.

So taken as an average, Second Life looks a lot like people would imagine Hollywood to be. Everyone looks beautiful, has neat stuff, can have casual sex with two or three partners a day and generally live a simulated high life. Go to a big club any day of the week and you can see people trying to live up to their media defined idea of cool. Again at a first glance, places and items catering to that breed of cool probably occupy about as much in the way of SL resources as shows and movies selling the image do of mass media resources.

Individually, sims tend to rise and fall with the fantasy they fulfill. There are fewer Femdom type places than male dominant/femals slave type places because the latter fantasy is more popular with people who log on. When it comes to Gor, don't discount the fact that this is a huge, largely underground niche community that has made SL its home. In the same way porn made the VHS work, Gor (and Steampunk) is probably responsible for keeping SL alive in its early days. It gave people an experience they couldn't get elsewhere and they were willing to invest their energy (money) to have it. I can see where, after years of being told women are supposed to be treated as both equal AND objects of sexual desire, a segment of the male population would be willing to pay for the ego boost of being the "stronger sex" again. Let's make no mistake here, at 300+ sims, Gor, not 70's fantasy artwork, does a lot to define the sexual mores of the SL RP community at large.

Sl in some ways functions as a visible Collective Unconscious of Americans who can afford a computer and high speed Internet (75%+ of the user base at an eyeball). There is no nature, everything built was designed by a human hand to fill a percieved need in SL. Every avatar is a series of deliberate choices by the user about the image they wish to convey to the SL world.
Caledon has been larger than the entire original SL grid for years now and spawned several other Steampunk communities. In some ways, this rise could be said to prefigure the growth of the Steampunk movement in the public consciousness. At the same time, most of the original cyberpunk sims have fallen by the wayside as that style has fallen from grace. Those are easier to notice because they're the kind of things people are willing to discuss in public. How many people at your office wish they were a character from the James Spader movie "Secretary"? Well, they're not as likely to discuss that for the asking. Do Gor, the prevalance of collars, the continued existence of brothels etc say something aobut our culture at large that people aren't willing to admit? I don't have the research to back it up, but the possibility is intriguing.

Live from the grid, I'm Professor Outlandish.

I'll save the discussion on what my deliberate choices are trying to convey for a later time. Instead, have an outtake shot from the White House Ballroom:

 

This is one of several shots where I was trying to overcome deficiencies in the White House build. You can't see it here but the ceiling is entirely plywood. I was hoping I could get the rotation column in the back to lookk vaguely like Barrack and Michelle but no luck on that count either. The piano was gorgeous, but astoundingly hard to shoot and still get a good angle of myself in it.

This shot wasn't awful. We've got Steve looking at me, a gorgeous piano and plenty of gratuitous nudity. Given time I could probably have cropped it into something serviceable but I really wanted to get the article out. Every shot I don't use is a lesson for next time.

Updates on my mayoral campaign will have to wait. I have an En Garde tournament to compete in coming up in less than eight hours and sleep yet to be had.

Live from my nice warm bed, this is Professor Outlandish, thinking of you.

Maggie for Mayor!

That's right, noble readers, junior reporter Professor Outlandish is running for mayor of Hard Alley!

Of course every Mayoral candidate needs a platform, so here it is.

The Outlandish Party Platform:

1. Too much money is being spent on punitivie enforcement. Less cops on the street and more money to edutaction!
    A. This means making Hard Alley Reform School the best institution of its kind in the region.
    B. Additional money should go to vocational training for the Alley's most important careers: hooker, dancer, wage slave and freelance security professionals.

2. The public needs to know what's going on. Expect regular reports from the mayor's office on CMNF Naughty News. http://cmnfreporter.blogspot.com
I think you'll find my work there says more than any platform could.

3. Open door policy. If elected I will mainain regular office hours where I pretend to listen to the concerns of all citizens. Such concerns will be prioritized according to the amount of income they generate.

4. A dead sexy mayor who's not afraid to flaunt it!

The election will run all day on Feb 20th. Vote early, vote often and expect frequent news updates.

White House Outtake #1

What would a trip to the White House be without a shot of the iconic Air Force One. Well, it was down for repairs, but with a little help from Steve I managed to get up on the wing. This shot wasn't included in the main article for several reasons, not the least of which is a subtle costume malfunction. I also didn't care for the way my hair against the light colored airplane prevents proper contrasting. Oh well, live and learn.

Group Fun

Want updates on Outlandish News or various projects/publications I'm working on? Join here.

CMNF Naughty News. Live From The White House

I guess my CNN report caught someone's attention. Words can't describe my shock and honor at being invited to do my next report live from our Nation's Capital at no less prestigious location than the White House.Unfortunately everything that could go wrong for my camera elves did. We still got some good material but there will be a lot of outtakes on my personal blog this time.

Air Force One was down for repairs but I was met at Reagan National by the Presidential helicopter. I figured I needed to dress a little more formally for this report than the last one, so I went with silk gloves and stockings. No one complained. I promise you the Marines were saluting with more than just their right hands.

I'm not sure how well known it is but there are actually three identical choppers. All three fly at the same time for security, since no one can know for sure which one the President is on. We grabbed this quick shot while waiting for our Secret Service Escort. The fellow on the left there was my personal Secret Service Agent for the day, Steve. Keep an eye on him, you'll be seeing a lot of him in this report. Steve spent the entire day keeping an eye on me. I even handed him the camera for the last shot.

After disembarking I was whisked to the security station for a mandatory once over. Since there weren't many places to hide anything, I got through with a quick grope. . .er. . .pat down from the female agent seen here. I think her name was Stephanie. She was very professional. . .on camera, but I'm looking forward to a quiet drink with her the next time I'm in DC.

  

 My next stop was the President's office. The President has a lot of offices. This isn't the Oval Office but one near the press room. I was happily filling out all the bureaucratic forms that Steve needed to clear me for all access when Barrack "Barry" Obama himself dropped by! He couldn't stay for long and I wasn't in a hurry to get him into a scandal of Clintonian proportions but we had a chance to shake hands before Steve rushed me off. . .

  

. . . to the press room! This may have been the ultimate honor of the entire trip. Imagine, a junior reporter like me delivering an official press briefing for the White House! I'll spare you most of the gory details, or at least save them for the next section. Suffice it to say the press was much easier on me than they usually are on the White House Press Secretary. Oh, and that's Steve again on the far right.

  

 Outside I got to give basically the same speech to the general public on the White House lawn. As you can see in the background, they wanted me to promote the Bush/Clinton Haiti relief fund. So I am. Go by the White House or Google it. Haiti's always been notorious for corrupt government, rampant violence and one of the worst economies in the world. This disaster has ironically given them a new chance. To rebuild the country, the government is actually going to have to stand and deliver. A Haiti that works sounds as impossible as the fall of the Iron Curtain used to. 'nuff said.

  

 After a long day of briefing the press, Steve took me around to see the other sites. This is where my camera gnomes really fell asleep. Not pictured here are the famous ballroom, the under repair Air Force One, the limo fleet and a few other things. On the other hand, I did get to sit in THE Chair. The Oval Office, this desk, this chair are arguably the seat of power for both America and the world. Ok. . .I'd argue not the world but I wanted to make sure I didn't give the Fox News fans anything to crucify me for.

  

 Plus the obligatory close-up.

Of course no tour of the White House is complete without a stop at the Lincoln Bedroom. Sure, Lincoln never slept here but I just had to have a look at an 8'x6' white blanketed bed. By now my photography gnomes were already in the wlefare line, so I handed off the camera to Steve. As you can see, the Victorian furnishings reaaly are all they're cracked up to be. Personally, though, I needed a closer look.

 What a way to end my day. Live from the White House, this is Professor Outlandish, thinking of you.

 

Next Story Delayed

Due to a slight technical malfunction this week's story will be slightly delayed. My crack team of photography gnomes will be working overtime to get the photos out of post-processing and ready for the article. In the meantime, here's something arty to hold you over.

 

 Expect more sepia toned steampunk goodness in the coming weeks.

Bonus Outtake Shot

This was going to be my new profile picture but by the time its cut down to 1024x1024 it just loses too much. Feel free to use it as your desktop background or something.

In other news, now that I've officially been picked up by CMNF Naughty Reporter News, this blog will focus on more day to day, behind the scenes type things. I'll still include my news posts, of course,but I'll be doing a lot of smaller, personal bits in between, like this one.  

Today's tip  for naughty reporters: Windlight, Windlight, Windlight. Custom sky setting will save you ever needing a facelight. Go to World>Environment Settings>Sky Settings. Play around with different sky presets. Everything in the CNN shoot was done in "Studio5" and touched up in Gimp by upping the Contrast to 35.

Just a little side note

You may be asking yourself "how's she going to top CNN?" Well trust me, loyal readers, next week will blow your socks off faster than a Congressional intern.

Reporting Live From CNN Headquarters

Following in the footsteps of my inspiration Zimmi Warwick, I'm off on the trail of hard hitting Second Life Journalism. Where better to start a career in the news than the place more Americans get their news, CNN?

That's right, noble readers, CNN has their own island specially dedicated to iReporters in Second Life. As the sign says, its unedited, unfiltered news. So I guess they won't mind if I grab their branded gear and wear it for my report. At the signs (shown below) you, too, can get your very own CNN microphone, ballcap, press pass and reporting pose. For the more. . .*ahem*. . .serious journalists, there's also information on how to become an iReporter. You, too, can cover Second Life for CNN without pay, all while maintaining no rights to your stories if they make the real news.

Having cleared my first hurdle in becoming a serious naked reporter it was on to the newsroom. I realize that most reporters prefer to sit behind the desk to laying on it. You really should try it, though, if you get the chance. They're more comfortable than they look. Everywhere you go, CNN is kind enough to remind you that iReport is unedited and unfiltered.

If that's not an invitation to a little naked reportage, I don't know what is. Now right above me is a lovely piece of work that I just couldn't get in frame. So here's a separate shot of your second favorite naughty reporter (after Zimmi) with the iReport camera.

I should take a little aside to note that I only ever saw one person at CNN HQ besides myself. There's a weekly briefing at 2PM SLT and I imagine that's the only time it sees much use. Serious reporters should probably stop by this Mature sim then.The briefing is held in the exceptionally lovely amphitheater as seen here. . .

You would think that this is it. They have recruiting tools, a news room and a press conference area. What else could the world premier news network possibly need? Well it turns out that the CNN news hub is packed with other fun things. Right nearby is a drive-in, complete with classic cars where you can watch CNN.

Or just sit back and unwind from a long day of reporting.Some of these cars are less than perfectly friendly and I got launched out of a good few before finding places to settle on these two. Still, there's something magical about the drive-in. Its the ultimate expression of car culture and disproportionately responsible for the conceptions of Generation X.

Once you've had your fill of drive-in news you can wander the various nature spots filled with gazebos, a mountain to climb and a family of happy deer. Mr. Deer told me that he is happy to be on the CNN reservation because its the only place in Atlanta that he's not in danger of being shot or run over. Seen behind us is the aforementioned mountain with a broken hang gliding experience at the top. Until they fix it, don't bother.

Well, it has been a long day of of reporting on reporting. Its a favorite passtime of the media but it can be draining after a while. Ready for a little break I headed over to the lake front coffeehouse. This place has a real war correspondent feel to it. It could be in any little third world country with its hardwood finish and folding chairs. The coffee's good, though.

Once again, I have to thank CNN for posting tacit permission to do this article in a clearly visible place. So, properly relaxed and having been all over the sim, it was about time to call it a day. I couldn't go back to my apartment all sweaty from my assignment, though. The bright lights and all the running around really build turn up the body heat. While I do love getting sweaty, I hate to leave an assigment smelling like I've just come from the cast of Survivor. Fortunately, right back near where I began, the lovely people of CNN were kind enough to provide somewhere to grab a quick shower before heading off camera.

Until next time, noble readers, I'm Professor Outlandish and this is the Outlandish News.